


Neville Longbottom: Heir of Slytherin

by Ayekrusher0901



Series: Neville Longbottom: The Boy Who Lived [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 2: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Boy-Who-Lived Neville Longbottom, Gen, Hermione Granger Bashing, Obscurial Harry Potter, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Severus Snape Has a Heart, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26063548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayekrusher0901/pseuds/Ayekrusher0901
Summary: During the summer, Neville Longbottom received an ominous visit from a house-elf warning him that if he returned to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for his second year, danger will strike.And strike it does. For in Neville's second year at Hogwarts, fresh torments and horrors arise, including an outrageously stuck-up new professor and a spirit who haunts the girl's bathroom. But then it gets worse - students were being harmed by a monster said to be controlled by the the "Heir of Slytherin", turning them into rigid statues. Who is behind this massacre?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy & Lucius Malfoy, Draco Malfoy & Pansy Parkinson, Harry Potter & Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom & Harry Potter, Penny Haywood/Player Character
Series: Neville Longbottom: The Boy Who Lived [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1850107
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. The House Elf

**Author's Note:**

> This fanon rewrite featuring Neville Longbottom as The-Boy-Who-Lived will be written in a more mature tone. Tags will be edited and/or changed as the story develops. There will be dialogue taken directly from the books and/or films, as I will be sticking towards the canon story except for obvious deviations; I do not own The Wizarding World, it is the property of Warner Bros Pictures.
> 
> For the full story, please read [Neville Longbottom: The Philosopher's Stone]

The first part of the summer had been calm in comparison to his rather turbulent first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Neville and Harry went back and forth to each other's residence quite a bit. He finally got a proper introduction to the Potters, who welcomed him into the family like their own. To his shock, Lily Potter had managed to talk down his Gran to allow weekly visits over at Godric's Hallow.

"Now Neville, remember what I said?"

"No magic in the backyard, and only under supervision from Harry's parents." Neville nodded as they made their way to Godric's Hallow.

"Hello, Neville!" James Potter said happily as he greeted the two. "Pleasure having you two here again."

"It is ours, Mr. Potter." Augusta said briskly. "Neville never tell me anything about what he’s been up to at school. I find it fortunate that your son has befriended him, the last thing I want is him getting mixed up in any sort of trouble."

Before James could say another word, there was the sound of barking before a large, tough looking dog the size of a small bear came pouncing out from the house. James looked startled as Neville was tackled to the ground, his face licked by the huge dog until Augusta pointed her wand and sent the beast flying back in. 

"Dear lord, what kind of animal is that?"

"Neville!" Harry's voice came as the boy leapt down from the stairs and hugged him. Harry had appeared to have been exhausted moments ago; Neville saw bags beginning to form under his eyes.

"Harry, what did we say? Same as you, Padfoot." James scolded the two.

It was then something odd happened, for the dog had began transforming. Neville watched in shock as the dog's huge coat shrunk back into its skin, as its jaw shrunk into a handsome face that reminded him of a aristroatic. "Sorry, mate." The former dog gave a sheepish grin, having now become a tall, well-built, darkly handsome man with waxy skin and short lustrous black hair. "Couldn't resist."

"Sirius Black?!" Neville had never seen his gran look so outraged. "What did you think you were doing?"

"Greeting your grandson, of course." He stated as if it was the most obvious thing. 

"As a dog? You could have given him a heart attack!"

As Augusta began another of her infamous rants against Sirius, Harry grabbed Neville by the arm and led him out. "Who is that...dog?"

"He's my godfather, Sirius Black." Harry explained. "Just came back from Azkaban a few weeks ago."

"Black?" Neville was reminded of the name somewhere, but he couldn't place his finger. "That's an odd name."

"Odd? He's the last of the House of Black, the oldest Pureblood family." Harry looked incredulous. "You got to be a bit mad when you're part of that family."

The realization finally struck him. "Wait, THAT house of Black?!" 

He remembered Gran mentioning about that family when they were talking about his heritage, his great-gran was a Black if he remembered right. He couldn't remember everything, though. Was it that it was from her did Gran get her infamous iron will? Or was it that his great-granddad had took a lot of time to mellow her out? Either way, he was soon pulled from his thoughts when they were called for a hasty dinner. 

* * *

After dinner, while the adults were engaged in another argument courtesy of Augusta, the two boys were starting a game of Exploding Snap in Harry's room when they heard a pop and a crash behind them. They turned and spotted an odd creature that had apparated into the dresser and crashed onto the floor. "Dobby most apologizes for his entrance, sir,” He said. “He is not familiar with this place. It is not how he wished to meet the great Neville Longbottom."

They gaped at him in utter shock. He had large, bat-like ears, and bulging green eyes. "You’re a house-elf." Harry stared at him, bewildered. "I’ve never met one before. We can’t afford one here."

"Who-" Neville paused, wanting to phrase it just right. He knew they were employed as servants by the richer families, that they were fiercely loyal to those families and that they took little regard for themselves; if he got it wrong, Gran might come up to investigate. "What is your name?"

"And how may we help you?" Harry asked kindly.

"I is Dobby sir, Dobby the house elf." He started. "I is here to tell Neville Longbottom - it is difficult, sir. Dobby wonders where to begin..."

"Try starting at the beginning." Harry suggested, exchanging another look of bewilderment with Neville. "What is it?"

"Oh, Dobby will have to punish himself most grievously later for coming to see you, sir. Dobby will have to shut his ears in the oven for this. If they ever knew, sir-"

"Won't they notice unwarranted punishment?" Neville asked.

"Dobby doubts it, sir. Dobby is always having to punish himself for something, sir. They let Dobby get on with it, sir. Sometimes they remind me to do extra punishments."

Neville gaped at him. He had heard some wizards were unfriendly to their house-elves but the inherent cruelty he described was horrific. He wanted to ask who his master was but he knew better than to ask such questions. "Why are you here?"

"Dobby has come to protect Neville Longbottom, to warn him, even if he _does_ have to shut his ears in the oven later..."

"Get on with it, will you?" Harry cut in. "You're not helping anyone by telling us how you're going to punish yourself."

Dobby narrowed his gaze at him and then turned back to Neville, his large wide eyes fixated on him. "Neville Longbottom most not go back to Hogwarts." 

He and Harry exchanged shocked looks and then turned to Dobby. "Why?" He tried to keep his voice even despite the chill that ran down his spine.

"Neville Longbottom must stay where it is safe. If Neville Longbottom goes back to Hogwarts, he will be in mortal danger."

"If I don't know the reason for it I can't see why I would be able to justify leaving all of a sudden." Neville insisted. "Not to mention I doubt Gran will allow it."

"It is not safe," Dobby told him, "Dobby has heard of Neville Longbottom's greatness and he must not let Neville Longbottom be put in danger!"

"He's in danger on a constant basis." Harry argued. "It seems to follow him wherever he goes, no matter what."

"Harry Potter does not understand." Dobby countered, trying to tell him something though incapable of doing so.

"Then tell us, so we can." Neville said in an authoritarian voice to Harry's amazement.

The house-elf was shaking like a leaf as he laid on the bed. "There is a plot, Neville Longbottom. A plot to make most terrible things happen at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year." Dobby whispered helplessly. "Dobby has known it for months, sir. Neville Longbottom must not put himself in peril. He is too important, sir!"

Neville took in what Dobby said before speaking again. "What terrible things? Don't you think I'm safest at Hogwarts where Dumbledore is?"

"Albus Dumbledore is the greatest Headmaster Hogwarts has had. Dobby knows it, sir. Dobby has heard Dumbledore's powers rival He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named at the height of his strength. But sir-" His voice dropped to a whisper. "There are powers no decent wizard-"

“And if he choses to do so anyway?” Harry's voice had gone eerily cold like he had flicked a switch or something, and Neville felt the presence of something powerful move in the room. Dobby must had felt it too, because he looked panicked.

“Dobby... Dobby will stop you, however Dobby must!” The creature glanced over at Harry for a brief moment, before finding himself thrown against the wall by something invisible.

“I will tell you only one time Dobby. If you so much as contemplate doing something about Neville, I will end you.” Shadows lengthened across the floor, the lights flickering ever so slightly as the boy's own eyes lit up with green flames. It was like Harry had become a monster.

“Dobby is not afraid sir, Dobby is used to death threats. Dobby wants to protect the great Neville Longbottom sir.”

"There are worse things than death." Harry said quietly. Dobby took one last look before vanishing with a loud crack. Neville looked back at the place where Dobby was standing mere seconds ago to Harry, who seemed to have calmed down.

"...What the hell was that all about?"


	2. Flourish and Blotts

Knockturn Alley was a place where only some of the more...suspicious wizards and witches hung around. Most people wouldn't even let their children enter due to its shady reputation, though for some it's a learning experience.

_'No one interesting so far...'_ Talbott Winger thought as he kept himself a low profile. Recently, the passage of the Muggle Protection Act, a combined effort of the Aurors and Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office, was something of an uproar among the Pureblood and Trueblood community. it was made with the intention to protect Muggles from potentially harmful magical artefacts. He had been assigned to keep an eye for any suspicious activity from one of the most suspicious Purebloods, though so far there was nothing of interest yet.

His patience paid off, however, when a tall man with long, blonde hair step into the alley. Talbott recognized him as Lucius Malfoy, one of the Purebloods who, if he remembered correctly, was also a member of the Board of Governors back when he was at Hogwarts. 

"Talbott?" The auror trainee nearly broke character when someone touched his shoulder, relived to see a familiar though concerned face. "What are you doing here?"

"Auror duties." The loner spoke in hushed tones. "And I could ask you the same thing."

"Penny's looking for maws and Mackled Malaclaw Tails, figured I'll try my luck looking here. And don't pull the Auror card on me." Maya frowned. "Who are you watching?"

"Lucius Malfoy. We were planning on raiding his house next, I've got the honor to keep an eye on him." Talbott admitted. "Though I doubt my presence inside could tip him off further."

Maya looked back at the shop Talbott was looking at, where they could see the patriarch of the Malfoy family standing inside. "Y'know, I did make a good impression back when he was inspecting the school. and I do have a reason to go through the shop..."

"You sure?" Talbott's eyes narrowed. "I don't want to put you in unnecessary risk; nothing is more scarier than Penny's wrath." 

"I'll be fine." Maya laughed before stepping into the shop.

"...It’s the same all over." Mr. Borgin, a stooping man with oily hair who nowadays ran the most infamous shop of Wizarding Britain's black market, was saying. "Wizard blood is counting for less everywhere-"

"Not with me." Lucius Malfoy agreed, his grip on his snake cane tightening. Maya wondered if his wand was still inside the snake head as they looked around. Among the accessories were a glass case nearby that held a withered hand on a cushion, a blood-stained pack of cards, and a staring glass eye. Evil-looking masks stared down from the walls, an assortment of human bones lay upon the counter, and rusty, spiked instruments hung from the ceiling. 

“No, sir, nor with me, sir,” said Mr. Borgin with a deep bow, before he noticed Maya. "Excuse me, miss, how may I help you?"

"Oh, I'm looking for some...exclusive...materials." Maya hinted. "I was hoping to, y'know, try my luck here."

"May I inquire a name?" 

"Ah, no need." Lucius Malfoy turned and extended a hand with a bemused smile. "This is Miss Roland, a witch of exceptional talent and an friend of the Malfoys. I was not expecting to run into you."

"Likewise, Mr. Malfoy." Maya returned the gesture. "What's an esteemed person like you doing here?" 

"I'm merely doing a bit of business. Nothing illegal, of course." He laughed, and Maya noticed Borgin looking rather angry. "Anyways, I am in something of a hurry, Borgin; I’ll expect you at the manor tomorrow to pick up the goods."

"But of course, Mr. Malfoy. And any friend of such...prestigious...customers is welcome in my, ah, humble shop." Borgin gave a haughty grin as Lucius bowed before leaving. "Now, what do you need?"

* * *

Neville found himself getting sick over the ride to his vault, he couldn't understand how anyone could stomach the experience. "How the hell can you stand that?" He asked Harry, perplexed at him and his dad's seemingly lack of reaction to the ride.

"Simple, it's just like riding a broom - a very rough one." Harry Potter responded, earning him a ruffle of his hair by his smiling father. Neville opened his mouth, before closing; the vivid image of Granger impaling her wild broom into him was still fresh.

The walk to Flourish and Blotts was one that surprisingly ignorant of his presence; he felt almost guilty to even think of it. _'C'mon Neville, you survived You-Know-Who twice now, a few people staring at you shouldn't be that hard!'_

The bookshop was unusually full compared to last year, with a majority of the customers being middle-aged women, he noticed. Among the few males he did saw were a group of redheads, and among them familiar faces.

"Ron! Fred! George!" He called out. The three turned around and lit up, relived of having something to talk to.

"Ah! James!" Behind them, a middle-aged gentleman with a head of red hair that was showing signs of balding greeted Potter Snr. "I've been meaning to speak with you - and who's this?"

"Arthur, this is Neville Longbottom." James smiled, patting Neville in the back. "Neville, these are the Weasleys - though I'm guessing you know Ron, Fred and George."

"Ah, but I bet you haven't met little Ginevra." One of the twins said, pulling a nervous looking girl from among the crowd who blushed red upon seeing Neville. "She's been talking about you all summer!"

While the adults began to chat, the kids managed to get a little closer to the front of the shop and Neville peered through the crowd to see what all the fuss was about. Standing behind a desk piled high with books a man, wearing absurdly bright colored robes and a smile that seemed to want to tear itself right off his face, was making a speech.

"... and then the great troll tried to smash down its club right on top of me." The man was saying. "But I was too quick for it and leapt aside. As it overbalanced, one simple jinx to its backside and the troll plummeted down the mountainside to its doom. I swept up the girl, jumped on my broom, returned her to her grateful parents and still made it to cut the ribbon at the Quidditch stadium opening on time." There was a generous round of applause as the man flashed a dazzling smile. "Thank you, thank you. The full story is found in chapter seven of my new autobiography."

He held up one of the books, the cover of which read _Magical Me_ – by Gilderoy Lockhart. "On sale now for the bargain price of 5 Galleons, 6 Sickles, and a copy signed by my humble self is, believe me, priceless." His smile once again widened to disconcerting proportions and he smoothed back his hair as he gazed upon his adoring public, while a photographer pushed his way forward. Suddenly his eyes fell on Neville for a moment and a strange, quizzical look appeared on his face. 

"It can't be." His face lit up. "Neville Longbottom?"

Before he could react, the photographer had grabbed Neville by the collar and dragged him towards Lockhart. "Smile, Neville. You and I are worth more than the front page." 

"Ladies and Gentlemen, what an extraordinary moment this is. When young Neville here stepped into Flourish and Blotts today, he only wanted to buy my autobiography, Magical Me, which I shall be happy to present him now - alongside all of my collected works - free of charge." The idiots in the crowd cheered as Neville was handed over a stack of books that were almost as tall as him. "He had, _no idea_ , that he would shortly be getting much, much more than my book Magical Me, which incidentally, is currently celebrating its 29th week on the Daily Prophet bestseller list. He and his classmates will have the honor of being next to me, as yes, starting from this September, I will be taking up the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"

While a woman who he quickly realized was Mrs Weasley joined the queue to get his collection to be signed, Neville pushed his way clear of the line and looked around for the Potters; he hated moments like this and didn't look up. And at that moment something struck him on the side of the head. It was a book, one that very fortunately wasn't by Lockhart. Looking up to see who threw it, he was horrified to see Draco Malfoy standing on the staircase with an grin of triumph on his face.

"Try ducking faster, Longbottom, or can't you get any lower?" Draco came down the stairs and loomed over Neville, being a good few inches taller. "Longbottom! What a stupid name, think I'll call you Short-arse. Much better." Neville bristled but said nothing.

"Draco, who are you talking to?" A smooth, oily voice asked. Draco span round quickly as if he'd had a shock. Neville looked up. Standing in the doorway was Lucius Malfoy, who Neville noted shared the same pale blond hair, the same cold look in their eyes and the same effortless air of self-importance as his son. He looked down on Neville and for a moment his eyes flickered with surprise before the veneer of disinterest returned.

"Well, well. Neville Longbottom." He said slickly, pushed Neville's hair back over his head to view his scar. "Delighted to meet you. Lucius Malfoy at your service." He offered his hand, which was not taken by Neville. His Gran had told him something about Draco's father, he couldn't remember what, but it hadn't been complimentary. "No need to be shy, Neville." continued Lucius, without a hint of offence. "I'm sure your grandmother has taught you most carefully about talking to strangers. I understand. Is she here?" Neville shook his head. "Hmm, pity. I would love to meet her."

"He's here with the Potters and the Weasleys." Draco spoke up. "And here they come..."

"Thank you, Draco." Lucius' mouth curled up to a smile. Ron was indeed coming out of the crowd alongside Mrs Weasley, Ginny still clinging to her hand. They were piled down with books, Ginny carrying hers in a heavily laden cauldron. "Well isn't this appropriate," Lucius sneered. "She's among Weasleys."

Mrs Weasley bristled angrily when she saw Lucius Malfoy. "Neville, come away from him," she said.

"Good morning, Molly," Lucius smiled, approaching Mrs Weasley. "I trust you and your family are quite well. I see you have found some other...charges to take care of." He gave a dismissive look down at Hermione, who looked very uncomfortable.

"Lucius, what do you think you're doing?" Arthur Weasley had now come over from where he had been talking to the Grangers, a look of contempt on his face. "Leave my family alone."

"Just engaging in a bit of polite conversation, Arthur. Busy time at the Ministry, I hear. I hope they are paying you overtime?” Lucius sneered, reaching into Ginny's cauldron and extracted a battered copy of _A Beginner’s Guide to Transfiguration._ "Obviously not." Lucius said with obvious disgust. “Dear me, what’s the point of being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don’t even pay you well for it?”

The redheaded man turned a darker shade of scarlet than both of his children as he squared up to Lucius. "We have a different idea of what disgraces the name of wizard, Lucius; and speaking of disgrace, out of respect for everyone here, I suggest we continue this conversation outside."

Lucius smiled. "Why should we, Arthur? I am quite comfortable here. It is always so much of a pleasure talking to you."

By now others were gathering round to see what was going on. Harry, Ron, Fred and George had come out from the back clutching their newly bought textbooks, followed by James who had a hand on Harry's shoulder. Lucius spotted him and grinned. "And speaking of disgraces to pure-blood wizardry," he said, "here's none other than James Potter. Long time no see, I heard Bella sent her regards to you the last time you met."

"Very funny, Malfoy." James looked angry. "Got nothing except petty words?"

Lucius looked down at the children around him and shook his head. "So many Weasleys, so little worth. And I guess you must be the kid who Lily had treated like galleons." he said, looking at Harry. "It's a shame you ended up among -"

"James!" yelled Mr Weasley in warning, but it was too late. James had lunged straight at Malfoy, arms outstretched as if to throttle him. They both crashed to the ground. Harry leapt in to strike Draco, joined by Ron, Fred and George. And just like that it into a free-for-all. Fists were flying left, right and center. A huge crowd was now gathered to see what was going on but no one tried to stop it. Even Ginny tried to get involved, but Mrs Weasley held her back.

Eventually Mr Weasley herself managed to pull James and her husband back and the brawl was over. Everyone collected up their books in sullen silence. Lucius got to his feet, brushed down his robes, gave Ginny a slow, condescending pat on the head and, trailed by Draco, stalked out of the shop.

Somehow, Neville felt he hadn't seen the last of either Malfoy.


	3. Train

As Neville waited for his turn to go through the barriers between 9 and 10, the Potters were already starting to say their goodbyes, while they stood just behind the Weasleys who were just now going through the barrier one by one.

"Make sure to have a teacher around watching you when you practice flying." Lily Potter warned Harry, who had been practicing under surveillance ever since he came back. "Or I'll make sure Uncle Severus will have you doing cauldron cleaning duty every day." 

"I will." He promised, giving her a hug and causing her to actually tear up.

"I'm going to miss you." She told them, before finally allowing him to go. To his surprise, instead of him simply going directly through, he crashed right into it, the barrier for some reason becoming totally solid.

"What the?" He gasped as Ginny, who was among the Weasleys to not have passed yet, went over to help him up, while Fred and George kicked the wall in mock protest. "The barrier's broken! How are we going to get on the train?"

Meanwhile James had noticed what happened and went to go inspect the barrier. "It appears the magic on it allowing people to go through seems to have blocked." He said. "Don't worry, I'll made a call to the Ministry and have it fixed in a second."

After a few wizards had arrived, with James double checking to make sure it was really fixed, he and Lily went with Harry to go through, followed by Neville, and so forth.

"What took you so long?" Ron asked as they hopped onto the train.

"The barrier closed on us." Neville explained, while Ginny excused herself. "Fortunately Harry's dad was able to get some help."

"Speaking of..." Harry looked around. "Have you seen Fred and George?"

* * *

Ginny was counting to ten as she traversed through the Hogwarts Express, trying to find her own compartment, when she ran into a girl with dirty blonde hair, a necklace made of a string of butterbeer corks, and what seemed to be a pair of earrings in the shape of beetle wings with her wand behind her left ear. The girl gave off an aura of distinct dottiness. Maybe it was from her eccentric style choices, or that she was apparently reading a magazine upside down. "Sorry."

"It's no problem, Ginny." The blonde girl spoke with a faint hint of Irish extended a hand to the bewildered redhead. "I'm Luna. Luna Lovegood. We live on the other side of Ottery St. Catchpole."

"Oh...uh...hi?" Ginny was rather certain she hadn't met this girl before.

"You ought to be careful, your brothers might be crashing into the train."

"...crash into the wha?"

She heard a roar of bewilderment come from the compartments, before hesitantly entering one and saw something that made her jaw drop.

Her father's car - it was a Lord Anglea or something - was flying side-by-side with the train, driven by none other than Fred and George. They were doing several somersaults around, and waving wildly to the amusement of the students inside. Ginny was astonished, while Luna had a mysterious smile on her face.

* * *

Upon arriving at Hogwarts Station, Neville and Harry approached what seemed to be a stagecoach. The latter glanced around for something that would pull them along but nothing was there. He furrowed his brows in confusion. "What is going to pull us along?"

"Honestly, Potter, don't you read Hogwarts: A History?" Granger's annoying voice came cutting in as she pushed past him to board one. "The carriages pull themselves."

Though Neville had tuned her out at this point, staring in shock at the beast in front of the stagecoach. If he had to give them a name, he supposed he would have called them horses, though there was something reptilian about them, too. They were completely fleshless, their black coats clinging to their skeletons, of which every bone was visible. Their heads were dragonish, their pupil-less eyes white and staring and vast, black leathery wings that looked as though they ought to belong to giant bats sprouted from their backs. Standing still and quiet as they waited for their cargo to board in the gathering gloom, the creatures looked eerie and sinister. "...can't you see them?"

"See what?"

"That!" Neville gestured at the beast, though Harry looked confused. "Can't you see them?"

"If there is a creature, then no, I can't." Harry shook his head, and Neville decided to put the topic to rest. No need to waste their time.

The carriage trundled toward a pair of magnificent wrought iron gates, picking up speed once they passed through and trudged up the long, sloping path toward the castle, another year awaiting. 

* * *

"Lovegood, Luna!" Ms. McGonagall called as the blonde's name came up. Luna cheerfully hopped onto the stool as the hat was rested on her head.

"Ravenclaw!" Harry noticed that Ginny looked sad by this decision. She was the last to be sorted, the hat was on her head for perhaps a minute before it called. "Gryffindor!"

Dumbledore was just now getting up to deliver his beginning of term speech when the wall directly behind the headmaster and the teacher's table made a very loud crash, causing everyone to look over at what was the matter.

To their amazement, they noticed the Weasley's Ford Angelia suspended for just a second, just outside the window, which apparently had strong enough magical protection to have handled the blow without breaking apart. The car then crashed to the ground below, making a loud metallic crunch as it did so.

"Please do not panic, the teachers will go see just what is the matter." Dumbledore said calmly as McGonagall and Snape left their seats. "In the meantime, let me tell you of the various announcements. First, our caretaker Mr. Filch has recently updated the list of banned items and activities..."

"Does stuff like this always happen?" Ginny, like many others, had tuned out the Headmaster's speech and was in discussion of the hanging car.

"...Maybe once in awhile."


	4. Lockhart's Lesson

The next morning at breakfast, on the first day of term, the Weasley Twin's unorthodox arrival was a popular topic of conversation on the Gryffindor table, though not everyone was thrilled.

"Of all the things you had done." Granger was shouting among the chatter. "You decided to come by a flying car? Do you know how many laws you'd have broken?! Not to mention the House Points!"

"Oh, sod off, Granger." Fred dismissed the near hysterial muggle-born. "The year hasn't even started. A shame, actually."

The Weasleys' mother, however, apparently had disagreed, for when the morning mail came, Neville recognized what their owl was carrying. Sure enough, the red letter the owl had carried was shouting at the Twins hysterically, though not before also congratulating Ginny's sorting. Fred and George merely pointed their wands at the Howler, setting it aflame while Ginny looked like she wanted to sink into the floor. Harry, surprisingly enough, decided to be the gentleman and comfort her, earning teasing remarks from Seamus and Dean to Neville's exasperation. 

Suddenly there was a bright flash in front of his eyes and he blinked hard. When the spots disappeared, Neville's eyes focused on a small, brown-haired boy who was excitably bobbing up and down on the spot as if he was desperate to go to the bathroom or something. In his hands he held an old-fashioned camera. “All right, Neville?” he asked breathlessly. “You are Neville Longbottom, right? I’m Colin Creevey, I got sorted into Gryffindor yesterday. I just wanted to say how great it is to meet you. I’ve heard all about you."

“Uh, hi,” said Neville. _Great._ he thought. _Yet another fan_.

“I hope you didn’t mind the photograph. I’m sending them home to my parents. They’re keen to learn all about Hogwarts."

"Didn’t they come here, then?"

"No, they’re not wizards. No one in my family is, as far as we know, except maybe my little brother. This is all new to me. Isn’t it fantastic?"

"Uh..." Neville wondered for a moment whether or not such a display would be a breach of the International Statute of Secrecy, the most important law of the Wizarding World that divided it from the Muggle World. "Colin, listen, I'll love to stay and chat, but uh, I need to head to my classes. Maybe later?"

To his relief, the bubbly Gryffindor nodded before running off, while Neville decided to check his schedule. 

"Granger." He raised his head to see Harry grabbing a piece of parchment from Granger that had some sort of red marks drawn on. "Why the hell do you have Lockhart's lessons in hearts?"

* * *

"Greenhouse three today, chaps!" Professor Sprout exclaimed cheerfully, leading the Gryffindors to the classroom of the day.

There was a murmur of interest; greenhouse three housed some of the more interesting and dangerous plants. Neville couldn't wait to see what they were going to be exploring. Herbology, by far, was his favorite subject. He smiled as he caught a whiff of damp earth and fertilizer, perhaps because of his Uncle Algie, it never failed to comfort him. He was about to follow his friends inside when a hand shot out, revealing it to be a part of Lockhart. "Neville! I've been wanting a word - you don't mind if he's a few minutes late, do you, Professor Sprout?"

Judging by Professor Sprout's scowling lips, she did mind, and Neville said a quick 'Sorry, but I'd rather not hold back the class' and slammed the door in Lockhart's face. Professor Sprout looked proud before she made her way behind a trestle bench in the center of the greenhouse. About twenty pairs of different-colored earmuffs were lying on the bench next to a hundred or so tufty little plants, purplish green in color, were growing there in rows. 

"Welcome to Greenhouse Three, second years!" Professor Sprout chirped happily, a complete one eighty to her previous attitude towards Lockhart. "Today, we'll be re-potting mandrakes. Now, who can tell me the properties of mandrake root?" She asked as she heaved a large pot onto the table, and both Neville's and Hermione's hand shot up automatically. "Yes, Mr. Longbottom?"

Neville took a deep breath before answering. "The mandrake is a magical and sentient plant whose roots resemble a human and are used as a powerful restorative. It is used to return people who have been transfigured or cursed to their original state, most commonly used for victims of petrification. Mature mandrakes are also dangerous, as their cry is fatal to those who hear it."

"Excellent explanation. Twenty points to Gryffindor," Professor Sprout beamed, while Granger looked on jealously. "The Mandrake forms an essential part of most antidotes. Now, as ours are only seedlings, their cries only knock you out instead of killing, which is why I've given you all a pair of earmuffs for auditory protection. So could you please put them on right away?"

There was a scramble over earmuffs as Neville put them on. The sounds were almost silent except for the faint whisper.

'Watch me closely.' Neville made out what Sprout was saying. "You grasp the mandrake firmly, you pull it sharply out of the pot-!' There was a muffled cry that caused Neville to wince, looking at the vaguely humanoid plant bawling at what he guessed was full volume. 'Now, you dunk it to the other pot and pour a little sprinkle of soil to keep it warm.'

As she filled the pot, Neville noticed out of the corner of his eye a slightly dizzy Granger, before she fell down unconscious. "Granger's been neglecting her earmuffs." Professor Sprout shook her head in disapproval.

"No ma'am." Seamus looked back up. "She's just fainted."

"Yes, well, just leave her there." Sprout waved an arm in dismissal. "Right, on we go. Plenty of pots to go around - compost in the sacks over there - and be careful of the Venomous Tentacula, it's teething."

She gave a sharp slap to a spiky, dark red plant as she spoke, making it draw in the long green tendrils that had been inching sneakily over her shoulder. 

Professor Sprout had made it look extremely easy, but it wasn't. The Mandrakes didn't like coming out of the earth but they didn't want to go back into it either. They squirmed, kicked, flailed their sharp little fists, and gnashed their teeth. Neville was nearly sent sprawling to the ground several times at first. By the end of the class, however, he managed to realize that they liked when one gave their head a bit of a pat. It was a bit of an accident, one that he did went to get Professor Sprout and demonstrated what he had done.

She clapped and gave him a thumbs up. It was still not safe to take off their earmuffs. She scurried away, trying without success to get the attention of the rest of the class. It wasn't until the Mandrakes were successfully planted that they were able to take off their earmuffs. It was then that she informed them of Neville's discovery, awarding him fifteen points for Gryffindor. He couldn't help but feel a burst of pride as everyone looked at him with awe, except for Granger who looked sour, probably because she hadn't thought of it first - not that she could when she was unconscious for the majority of the lesson.

* * *

When he entered the DADA classroom Neville immediately noticed the place had apparently been redecorated. In contrast to the dark, smelly atmosphere of the room under Quirrell’s tenure, now it was light, bright and airy, with the afternoon sun streaming in through the windows. The walls were lined with pictures, every single one of them featuring the beaming smile and impeccably tended features of Lockhart himself. The pictures seemed to be staring across the room at each other and ignoring the entering students.  
  
Everyone found their seats and waited. They waited for a long time. Eventually, with a nonchalant air and without the slightest hint of concern, Lockhart breezed into the room, his bright cloak swishing behind him like the tail of some great tropical bird. Levitating behind him was a small cage, covered with a cloth; It rattled and rocked as it was set on the desk. Lockhart turned away and faced the class, folding his arms ostentatiously across his chest as the ridiculous smile that was everywhere back in Flourish and Blotts was kept on.

"Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher" He announced. "Me, Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Arts Defense League, and ten-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award - but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"

Neville noticed that most of the girls were there looking at him with lovestruck faces, including Parvati, Lavender and even Hermione who both sighed as he handed each of them a pink carnation. _'This guy was seriously milking his looks for all they're worth...'_

"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books. Well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about. Just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in. You have thirty minutes. Go!"

It hadn't been a few seconds when Harry snorted. "Look at these questions. They're all about him!"

Neville picked up the paper and began to read the first few questions. He looked down at his paper and read:

_1\. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite colour?_

_2\. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?_

_3\. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?_

On and on it went, over almost eight sides of paper, right down to:

_77\. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?_

Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the papers and read through them in front of the class.

"Tut, tut - hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac - I say so in Year with a Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully - I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples - though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky!"

Neville was honestly stunned as Lockhart gave the class another roguish wink. Ron was staring at the DADA teacher in disbelief, while Seamus and Dean were shaking in silent laughter. Granger, on the other hand, was listening with rapt attention and beamed proudly when he mentioned her name.

"...but only Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions! Good girl! In fact, full marks! Where is Miss Hermione Granger?"

"H-here, sir." Granger raised a trembling hand, blushing furiously.

"Excellent! A hundred points for Gryffindor! And now-" Lockhart went behind his desk and pulled out a covered cage.

"Now what you are about to see next may alarm you, but I must ask you not to scream, you might provoke them." Lockhart cautioned dramatically, lifting the cover off of it, revealing a cage full of small electric blue creatures about eight inches high, with pointed faces and voices so shrill it was like listening to a lot of budgies arguing.

This earned a laugh from Ron, "Pixies?!" He choked out between guffaws.

"Freshly caught Cornish Pixies." Lockhart clarified. "Devilishly tricky creatures much cunning than you think, I think they would be perfect for a practical lecture on this subject." Lockhart claimed, only for Ron to laugh harder, with other boys joining him. "Well let's see what you make of them."

He opened up the cage and pixies began to fly out and immediately wreak havoc, obviously not being too pleased with being cooped up into such a small cage, and proceeded to wreck the classroom more effectively than a rampaging rhino, grabbing ink bottles and spraying the class with them, shred books and papers, tearing pictures from the walls, up ending the waste basket, grabbing bags and books and throwing them out of the smashed window. Within minutes, half the class was sheltering under desks(which included Ron) while the rest bolted out of the classroom(, with only a minority trying to stop the infestation.

As Parvati tried to swat one away with her book, Harry managed to take the two down that were trying to hoist Neville up onto the chandelier and keep him from hitting the ground too hard.

"Come on now - round them up, round them up, they're just pixies." Lockhart rolled his sleeves, brandished his wand and bellowed. "Peskipiki PesterNOMI-!" 

He faltered when one of the Pixies snatched his wand and broke off the dragon skeleton hanging from the ceiling, sending the bones shattered over the remaining class. Seeing this, he rushed back to the staircase, stopping momentarily where the Pixies steal a portrait of Lockhart and he tries to get it back, only to nearly fall off alongside said portrait. "I, uh, just let any volunteers nip the rest of them back to their cage." He said meekly before scrambling into his office.

"Can you believe him?" roared Ron, as one of the remaining pixies bit him painfully on the ear. "Bloody coward!"

"He just wants to give us some hands-on experience." Granger said before spinning on the spot and flicked her wand. "Immobulus!"

A quick flash of blue had the entire room perfectly still, with all of the pixies moving in slow motion. "Hands on?" repeated Neville, grabbing back his wand from a nearby pixie, who was slowing retracting its tongue in. "Granger, he didn't have a clue what he was doing!"

"That's rubbish!" Granger retorted. "Honestly Neville, you really should read more. You’d enjoy it, I’m sure. Gilderoy Lockhart’s done more for wizardry in his lifetime than a hundred other people put together. It’s all in his books. He’s a legend for all the things-"

"-he says he's done."

After subduing them all and putting them back into their cage with a bit of help from Seamus and Dean, Duncan Ashe - the showed up, no doubt having heard the commotion. "Aw, shucks. Looks like I missed something."

"Actually Duncan." Harry began, heading over to whisper into his ear, causing the ghost to look all conspiratorial, before he grinned and picked up the cage. Neville had five seconds to realize what Harry had said before the door opened, the cage tossed in, and a screaming Lockhart evidently discovered the pixies now loose in his office.

"Open this door at once, ghost!" Lockhart demanded shrilly, by now desperately trying to escape. Duncan, who kept his head partially through the door, kept up a running commentary for each of the students, clearly enjoying being able to describe the display as he kept a grip onto the doorknob.

"Now the pixies are smashing all of his framed photographs of himself." Duncan commented with glee. "He really has too many, I'll have to get some once the pixies are done with them, make him look more distinguished."

"Now the pixies just ripped his pants off, did any of you know he has pink underwear? Oh, _Lilac_ , my mistake."

"Now...well I won't tell you what just happened but let's just say there's no fixing that underwear."

The brilliant commentary done by Ashe caused howls of laughter from the students, minus Granger, who was rather put off that her crush was being humiliated in such a way.


End file.
